My Kidney Stones

In a way, I wish I’d been able to keep one – the stones that traveled from my kidney out my body. It would’ve been interesting to see whole the multi-toned, hard little beige and grey bits. However, I can’t say I was sad to feel them gone. Even we who have experienced labour wince more at the kidney stone experience. But, I get ahead of myself. Before it was out, it wasn’t. Recognizing its uniquely piercing relentless stab, I caught a cab and writhed my way to Women’s College Emerg. Could it be? Only one person there besides me? Yes! Got relatively quickly past the first gauntlet into the sanctum (already counts as amazing patient experience). Still very much in writhing-mode and now – out of the confines of the taxi – I was able to release my moans. “No,” they said “you can’t get pain killers until you’ve been ‘seen’ by the doctor.” Which wasn’t happening nearly quickly enough for me and my stones. I paced I twisted I hollered I swore like a sailor. I shrieked an apology for my foul language. Walking by me, and through the area, various people who looked like healthcare professionals were all tolerant and sympathetic and a couple urged me on. This also constituted a wonderful patient experience for me because humour plus sympathy or empathy (and vice versa) combo was powerful good. I got morphine “Thank you doctor !?&^%$() Sorry for swearing (!#%$^$) but this really hurts. ” “Sometimes swearing is good for the soul.”

I had two stones. The first was removed by a sweetheart of a urologist at St Michael’s hospital (known as stone specialist). His name says it all: Dr Honey. After, I wrote Dr Honey a fan letter (email actually) cause I didn’t realize how yukky those tiny calcified ‘gravel’ pieces had made me feel. The second stones sifted their way out after having the Lithotripsy technology that vibrates the big stone into sharp little multi-toned bits. I had to collect ‘em and send to the lab for further questioning.

I bade them farewell and turned my energies to finding food that straddled managing several conditions: cancer (lots of greens and VitD), kidney stones (avoid greens and VitD) cholesterol (almonds=good, but bad for stones).

Out of all this, best news: it looks like dark chocolate is the only thing I can eat.